8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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