i permit you to call me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
