You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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