I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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