i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
