Tell her she can't have a vagina
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
