And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
