margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
