you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
