I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
