Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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