remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I believe in your delicious
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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