so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
