Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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