Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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