i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
