I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
