Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
