They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
