So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
