If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
