That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
