ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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