she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
