Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
