I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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