Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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