We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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