I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize