mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
