so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
