I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
