Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
