you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize