Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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