i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
