Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
