I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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