I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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