I just pynch a tree in the face
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize