If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
