using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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