You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
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ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize