I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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