I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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