u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize