The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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