their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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