OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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