Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
