booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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