If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
