Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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