Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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