Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
