They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
