that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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